In the Ring: A Dario Caivano Novel Read online

  Having this boxing gym had been on my ‘larger than life’ to-do list for years, but while I was building my boxing career, I didn’t really have the time needed to give it. However, since my schedule was changing in drastic ways with the onset of my last bout approaching at the end of the year, I had finally buckled down and hired a construction project management firm and things were moving forward.

  When the time came, I wanted somewhere to focus all my energy. I’d been boxing my entire life pretty much; since it was the only job that I’d ever known, I knew the void I would feel. I wasn’t trying to go through that shit.

  Can’t wait . . . I mumbled to myself. Got big-ass plans for you, I sighed as my eyes roamed over to the fifteen or so stairs that led to a loft-style second floor—home of a full-service juice, smoothie, and made-to-order salad bar. I visualized clearly, the influx of gym members—male, female, young, and old, athletic and not—crowd the floors of Wicked.

  “Aye punk!” I heard a familiar echo out.

  “Oh, I got your punk!” I called back.

  “What’s up man?” my friend Quinton asked as he approached and fist bumped with me before we drew each other into a bro hug.

  “Took your ass long enough to get here,” I joked.

  Quinton swatted his hand at the air in disgust. “Shit, yo’ punk ass is lucky that you rode in against traffic. I was in the thick of that shit,” he laughed. “Maan, you know this Bay Area traffic ain’t no joke. A bunch of zombies on the way to the money.”

  “I know. I was just fucking around with you. I thought you’d be a little later than this, honestly.”

  “Well, I’m here.” He looked around, nodding his approval as he scanned the surrounding area. “I see shit is moving right along,” he acknowledged, taking in the progression made. “Legit, man . . .”

  I laughed out loud and shook my head, causing Quinton to look at me curiously. I wasn’t going to tell him that I thought about Rai when he said, ‘Legit’, because it seemed to be one that Rai used a lot in his depiction of all things.

  “Yeah, it’s pretty legit, right? It’s about time. Been long enough.”

  “Hell yeah. You’re sitting on a gold mine over here so it’s about time you got shit up and running.”

  “Almost, man,” I said, leading us through the large space, and up the flight of stairs to a small lounge that sat off the side of the juice and salad bar. “Want a water?” I offered, walking to the small cubic fridge.

  “Nah, man, but if you got some real beverages up in there, I’ll take something. The hell I look like sipping on water and you brought me here to discuss business.”

  I laughed at Quinton. He was crazy as hell, and that crazy was why I liked having him around. I’d known him for several years and had met him through some chick that I was casually hooking up with. We’d hooked up on some double date shit one night with her and a friend, and hit it off immediately. Everywhere we went, that dude got stares because of his likeness to some celebrity. It was either Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, or one of his cousins, the Uso twins.

  “What point in the conversation when I called you last night did I say that this was all business? I’m almost a hundred percent sure I mentioned sparring. I know I did.”

  Quinton scratched at his temples and chuckled. “Hell, you might have. I was halfway in the middle of some shit when we talked. Her name was—”

  “Did I ask?!” I yelled out, against hearty laughter as I sliced the finale of his confession.

  “I guess it’s a good thing I came dressed for the rumble.”

  “We can do drinks later, though, if you want. I have a few errands after we leave here and then later is good.”

  “Yeah, okay, superstar. Drinks later then. I won’t keep you past curfew, and shit.”

  “Whoa! Curfew. You know I’ve never been on a leash.”

  Quinton threw his head back and smacked at the air with both hands. “Psssh, miss me with that fiction, man? Now, I don’t buy that tabloid shit out the store, but don’t think I haven’t heard about you being seen with a beautiful sistah on your arm. The streets talk, man. I’m just a little hurt that you didn’t tell ya boy.” Quinton started to laugh as he leaned back into the chair and got comfortable. “It’s alright, man. It happens to the best of us. It just hasn’t happened to me yet.”

  I remained quiet, not really wanting to speak on the Chanel situation. I already knew that’s who he was talking about and I wanted to stay far away from that topic. But Quinton didn’t.

  “So, what’s up with you and your new lady, man? Spill.”

  “Nothing is up with us—anymore.”

  “What? I’m confused as hell right now, man. What do you mean?”

  “I mean it’s over. Months ago. It came and went. The end.”

  “Let me guess. You couldn’t do the whole monogamous thing and had to let her down easy?”

  “Whatever the situation was, it’s no longer a situation.”

  “Well, shit, I wanna say that was quick, but I’ve never even seen you in a rela—”

  “You got to witness history. Good for you, dude.”

  “Damn. What’s the attitude about?”

  “There’s no attitude. But did you come to talk chicks or did you come to spar?”

  “Shit, I came to talk business, I guess spar and to check on my friend at the same time. Is that cool with you?”

  “It’s cool if you want to talk about some other shit.”

  “Alright, so what was the business you wanted to talk about?” he asked. “Because this shit is going left real quick.”

  I sighed heavily, regretting my tone with Q. But right now I wasn’t in any kind of mood to offer apologies. “We can talk about it later when we hang out. It was along the lines of us partnering with our gyms. I think it could be beneficial.” I stood from my seat and gulped down my water. “But let’s get there later on.”

  “Cool.”

  We headed down the stairs to begin our sparring session, but before we could made it to our station, Quinton stopped in his tracks and looked over at me.

  “DC, you got a fight coming up—your last one. On the one hand, it’s cool to have this kind of anger or whatever it is you got going on right now because it means that the opponent is in for big shit. But on the other hand, if your head isn’t in the game, then that can cost you big. It’s a double-edged sword, man,” he lectured.

  “Since when the fuck do I need a lecture about a fight?” I snapped. “I’m undefeated, Q, so that should say enough.”

  “You don’t need to pound on your chest, like fuckin’ Caesar, dude. Yeah, you’re undefeated and I’m sure you want it to stay that way. And look . . .” a crooked smile appeared showing half his teeth. “I see you tensing up already so I’m just gonna say this. I know—”

  “Take the shortcut, Q, or don’t say the shit at all. Because in a second, I’m tuning you out.”

  “All I’m saying is that your head needs to be in the game. That’s it,” he remarked, shoulders hunched and palms outstretched. “So whatever this is, you gotta either confront it or shake it off. Now, let’s go,” he said posturing up.

  “Yeah, let’s go,” I cosigned, sealing my gloves around my hands. “Let me whip that ass real quick and early so you can have the afternoon to recoup before we hit somebody’s bar later on.”

  CHAPTER 38

  Chanel

  Even after four months, since breaking up with Dario, starting the day still seemed to have a bit of struggle attached. It was as though I was on autopilot, really. I still performed my regular routine as far as mother and businesswoman, but Dario not being in my life was definitely a void that was felt . . . every single day. He had really become an important part of my life. And judging how the temperature between Rai and me had cooled, he’d become quite important to my son as well. But that wasn’t something I was ignorant to. I knew that they’d bonded and I felt like shit tearing into that. I really did.

  I studied the girl l
ooking back at me through my bathroom vanity and barely recognized her. Yes, she was still pretty and her body was still snatched, but something was missing behind her eyes. It was something I hadn’t known was there until I got a five-star taste of the love of a good man. I liked the smile in my eyes that used to greet me in the morning when I knew I’d see Dario or even talk to him. That soothing feeling was gone. In its place was hate and disgust, remorse and disappointment. I wanted out, but there was no way out. The only way out would have landed me in jail for murder. And although my baby wasn’t speaking to me and hugging me the way he once did, when he left for school and before he went to bed at night, I wasn’t ready to be his mom from behind bars.

  That just wasn’t an option. So, in essence, Tyler had my son to thank for his entire existence. Because if I didn’t have that kid, I wouldn’t feel that I had anything to lose.

  I pulled my hair out of my face into a tight ponytail and proceeded to cleanse then moisturize. After completing the condensed version of my facial, I went to grab a track suit from my closet and a pair of white tennis shoes. After putting in my hoops, I took my ponytail out and restyled it sealing the edges with a bit of edge control and then I was ready to go.

  “Rai!” I called out. He used to be up before me and now I was the one getting him out of bed.

  I headed to his room when I heard him yell, “Comin’!”

  I did a light knock on the door before entering and saw him checking himself in his full-length mirror. He was growing rapidly and getting more and more handsome as time flew by. “You ready to have your brohawk trimmed?” I asked, referring to his signature curly Mohawk with the tapered sides.

  “No, it’s cool for now,” he responded. He never once turned around to face me.

  “Okay. You almost ready to go?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You okay?” I asked him, which seemed to be a question that I was asking a lot lately with the same response.

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “Because you know you can talk to me, right Rai? I know there’s things you probably want to . . . uhh . . . express, but don’t.”

  “I’m good,” he said, brushing past me and out of his room.

  “Rai, look at me,” I requested, following behind him. When he turned around and looked past me without looking directly into my eyes, I said, “You can talk to me, right?”

  He didn’t answer me immediately, but I watched his body language and the shifting of his weight from one jean clad leg to the other. He pulled his backpack from around his shoulders and sat it down and leaned against the wall near the stairs.

  “I can’t talk to you, Mom. You say that, but it’s not true.”

  I was shocked. Not that he felt that way, but that he’d actually said it out loud. But I did ask, right? When he looked from the wall to me, it broke my heart to see the hurt living in his eyes. I’d lost a part of him with this shit with Tyler and I could see that. It hurt worse than any pain I’d ever felt.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because it’s true. You just broke up with Dario without saying anything to me, Ma. I know I’m a kid and all of that and maybe something happened that I don’t know about, but I just don’t think Dario would do anything to hurt us. But Tyler . . . he already did. But yet he’s back in our lives, Ma, and I don’t know why. So even though you said that I could talk to you, I really don’t think that it would change anything. So, I just don’t say nothin’.”

  “But that means you’re unhappy, baby. Are you unhappy?”

  “I’m good, Ma. I told you that. My life ain’t horrible, I’m just confused.” He hunched his shoulders then relaxed them. “Are you happy?” he asked, after a few seconds of silence. “Because you don’t seem like you are.”

  I’m not happy baby. But my love for you is greater than my own happiness, was what I longed to say to him, but wouldn’t dare.

  “I love you, Rai. Let me get you to school, okay?”

  And as we walked out of the house and to the car I felt like the biggest liar and hypocrite, ever. I’d asked him to talk, but when he did and asked me a question, I couldn’t even answer him. Or rather, I wouldn’t answer him—I didn’t want to have to lie—again.

  When we pulled up curbside at Rai’s school, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek before he got out. Totally unexpected. That was something that he hadn’t done in a long while.

  “I love you, Mom. I hope you have a good day.”

  Choking back my emotions, I said, “I love you more, Rai. So much more than you know. You have a good day too. I’ll see you in a few hours when I get you from grandma’s.”

  CHAPTER 39

  Dario

  When my phone rang and I saw Rai’s phone number come up on my caller ID, I smiled to myself. I didn’t know whether or not his mother was aware, but our communication hadn’t ceased at all since she and I had stopped seeing each other. We didn’t speak every day, but our line of communication was a pretty healthy one. He was a good kid, and truth be told, I missed having him around. But like I’d explained to him, things between his mother and me were over.

  I’d always steered clear of women with children, not because I didn’t like kids, but because I know how contagious kids are and I didn’t want to have to end relationships with them because the one with their mother had ended. Yet, that’s exactly where I was with Rai. I wondered often what would happen if Chanel or her loser boyfriend discovered that Rai and I were still in touch. However, it hadn’t happened in four months, so maybe it wouldn’t.

  “Hey buddy, what’s going on?” I greeted.

  “Hey Dario. What ya doin’?”

  “Not too much. Just leaving the gym and about to head home. What’s going on with you?”

  He released an exaggerated sigh. “Bored. That’s all. On my way to sneak and watch one of my shows on Hulu.”

  “It’s lunch time, right? You started your summer program already? Why aren’t you on the slopes hanging out with your pack?”

  “I didn’t feel like it. I got a few more sessions left today; I’ll see them soon enough. Besides, it’s kinda hot and I’m just not really feeling like being around anybody right now.”

  “What’s up with that? Not wanting to be around anybody? What’s going on?”

  I held off starting up the car so I could chat without the distraction of the road. Rai seemed like something was going on and since I was who he’d chosen to make the call to, I wanted to be there for him in any way that I could, giving him my undivided attention.

  “If I tell you . . . don’t tell my mom . . .” he started before sadly stating, “Oh, that’s right; y’all don’t even talk anymore.”

  “Right. That’s how she wanted it, and I have to be respectful of that. You’ll understand it all when you get a little older. I promise.” I chuckled without meaning to. The lesson of women was going to be one of great challenge.

  “No, I don’t think I’ll understand at all.”

  “Oh trust me, you will.”

  I wanted to laugh at the vision of him reflecting back on this conversation the first time he ran into one of the many girlfriends he’ll have in his lifetime. You’ll find out soon enough.

  “No. I don’t’ think so, Dario. My mother doesn’t have any business with somebody that cheats on her. She thinks that I don’t know that’s why they broke up in the first place. I knew that he didn’t treat my mother the way she deserved to be treated. But now since she’s back with him, I swear I hate his guts.”

  “Those are harsh words, dude. What’s happened between you guys? Has he done something to you? Said something to you?” I asked, my teeth clenched tightly , trying very hard not to let Rai know how on edge I’d become at his words.

  “He didn’t do anything to me.”

  I was afraid to ask. “To your mom?”

  “No,” he responded, causing me great relief. “I just don’t want her with him. I think he’s forcing her to be together with him.”

>   I almost laughed aloud at his comment. “Rai, I haven’t known your mom nearly as long as you have and I know for a fact that she can’t be forced into anything, little man. She’s for sure her own woman. I honestly don’t think you have that to worry about. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but adult relationships are super complicated. The two of them were a couple for a while. Sometimes people take breaks from relationships and then much later they realize that they were actually meant for each other the entire time. So, maybe that’s what happened with your mom and him.”

  I didn’t even know if I believe the crock of shit I just fed Rai.

  “I don’t think so. I just don’t. She doesn’t even seem happy. She doesn’t laugh or smile, Dario.”

  “Maybe it’s just you who isn’t happy, Rai. Have you and your mom talked about it?”

  “No, I haven’t talked to her. Well, kinda. But not really. I asked her why they were getting back together in the first place and she didn’t answer. My mom answers everything I ask her. I just don’t feel right. But that’s okay. I just wanted to see what you were doing. I’ll talk to you later.”

  Just as I was about to ask him another question, Rai disconnected the line. The kid was affected and I felt badly. I didn’t know what to do—whether to call him back or alert his mother about how he was feeling. All I knew was that I felt like something needed to be done. Even if it was just enough to possibly open up dialogue between them, I needed to do that.

  Without contemplating any longer, I dialed Chanel’s phone number, and then started my engine. By the time I’d put on my seat strap, her line had rang twice. On the third ring her soft voice came through the receiver, and filled the confines of my vehicle.

  “Hello?” she answered.